Woman: “Doctor, Doctor, I’m being sick 30 times a day, I haven’t drank for 3 days and passed out from it this morning”

Doctor: “Don’t worry that’s totally normal”

Woman: “Doctor, Doctor, I can’t stop being sick, please can I have some safe and effective anti-sickness medication?”

Doctor: “hmmm… Have you tried ginger?”

Woman: “Doctor, doctor, I’m so sick I’m going to lose my job and can’t pay my rent or look after my toddler, could I have a sick note so that my employer understands?”

Doctor: “Pull yourself together - You just need to battle through like everyone else does”

Woman: “Doctor, doctor, I’m still sick all day everyday and it’s been 16 weeks now”

Doctor: “No I’m sorry but you can’t be – it must be in your head”

Woman: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got a serious condition called hyperemesis gravidarum. I’ve lost 2.5 stone and am throwing up blood, I’m scared but I desperately want this baby.

Doctor: “Hmmm… Why do you think you’re being sick?”

Woman: “because I have hyperemesis gravidarum!”

Doctor: “Yes but why are you being sick… do you really want this baby?”

Woman: “Doctor, doctor, I’m so depressed because I’ve been bed bound with hyperemesis for 5 months now, throwing up every day and nausea constantly… I’m lonely and miss my busy life going to work and seeing people, eating is torturous as food all tastes awful and comes back up anyway, I can’t wash my hair without vomiting and I haven’t left the house in weeks”

Doctor: “Well, you just need to snap out of it and stop being sick!”

... Except none of these are jokes....