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Journey into the world of hyperemesis gravidarum...
26Jun 15

Pay It Forward

Okay okay, so the HG world rallied! And I’m not a quitter!

Thank you all for your kind messages of support and appreciation for my work. I’ll carry on for now!

I’ve come up with a Pay It Forward initiative so that we actually can provide some books for free to those who need them the most, but first I want to explore some of the barriers to involvement which I know all too well within the HG world.

One of the biggest challenges we face when trying to raise awareness of Hyperemesis Gravidarum is that so many of our women are deeply traumatised by their experience and can’t face fundraisers in which they have to discuss the condition with people they are trying to get donations from. Many of our women plan never to be pregnant again, even though plenty would desperately love more children. So they feel they need to leave the HG world behind and can’t face getting involved or doing fundraising events or activities.

Some women still harbour feelings of embarrassment about the condition as they were made to feel so shameful during the pregnancy – “You’re just pregnant you know” “you’re bringing it on yourself by not thinking positively”, “Your selfish to be taking medication in pregnancy – think of your baby”, “Your just not one of life’s copers are you”… all fairly standard comments for Hyperemesis sufferers to encounter during pregnancy which have a tenacious and toxic effect on our self-esteem and leave us feeling broken and humiliated.

I get that… I really do. But… how are we going to change the future for our daughters and granddaughters if we don’t put our foot down and say ENOUGH!

We are not weak

We are not selfish

We are not negative

We got an illness

It was an horrendous battle to get through each day at what should have been a happy and amazing experience growing our babies

We endured intense suffering for months on end, often with little to no understanding or support from those around us

We experienced the humiliation of other people accusing us of weak and pathetic

We are mocked by the public and belittled in the media

But we fought for our babies and our lives

We made difficult decisions, weighing up risks and seeking evidence to help us

We had to learn for ourselves as our doctors didn’t know

We had to defend our rights to life and health and reproduction

We didn’t all win…

And those of us who didn’t make it through faced grief and guilt and yet more battles

 

So… we must unite, we must stand tall and proud for the battles we’ve fought. We must speak up and defend our sisters. So our daughters can say this:

I got an illness

I received compassion and support

I was given treatment

It was still hard but not as hard as it was for our mothers

We all won

 

Please – Join me in this, Pay it Forward. I have set up a system so that people can donate my books and HG packs to women who contact the charity via the helpline, the volunteer network or through our social media. You pay for the book online and it stays in our office until a women in need is identified, then we post it out. Please consider donating what you can and remember that the income from the books support the HG charities.

For those of you who don’t feel able to speak, I understand that, I really truly do, but please consider donating what you can and supporting in other ways. When you think of charity… think of HG! Pregnancy Sickness Support in the UK and the International HER Foundation… both are run on absolute shoestrings, driven forward by volunteers: dedicated survivors. Without support from the women they support they will be resources which are lost.

Click here to Pay It Forward!

And don't forget to share and encourage others to do the same!

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Comments

Hi there, Firstly I am currently 10 weeks pregnant, I've had 2 pregnancies before- my gorgeous boys :) but this time after time in hospital and anti sickness tablets -that don't always work 😢 I now understand this condition completely. Please could you tell me how to buy a pack? I'd also like to buy one in advance for someone like me in need. I think you can safely count on me to raise some awareness of this condition.
Sophia white, 26th June 2015

Spewing Mummy replies...

Hi Sophia, Sorry to hear you're suffering :(

To buy a pack click on this link:

http://spewing-mummy.myshopify.com/collections/main-products/products/hyperemesis-pack

and then when you've added that to the cart you can click on "donate books to HG women" above and add a donation pack to your cart. If I get the order I'll try really hard to post it tomorrow morning so you get it on Monday but my husband is away on a stag do and I've got the 3 kids so I may not make it to town in the morning, in which case it'll be tuesday you'll get it.

Also, please call our helpline on Monday or Tuesday and we can organise for a volunteer to support you through the pregnancy if you like and discuss your treatments etc to see if you could get it a bit better managed. The number is 02473682020 leave a message loud and clear and you'll get a call back. The PSS website is https://www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/

Caitlin X

This is a great idea for people like me to give practical help. I've survived 2 HG pregnancies with the help of PSS, but even after 3 years I find it hard to explain just how trapped, frightened and suicidal I felt to people who have never experienced it. I do want to support other women but worry that I wouldn't be any good at it as I haven't "got over" my own experiences. I still get really anxious every time I even feel slightly sick. I'm not having any more children, but I do want to ensure that my daughters grow up in a world where HG is managed by competent, well-informed professionals with access to good research.
Anna, 13th July 2015

This is a great idea for people like me to give practical help. I've survived 2 HG pregnancies with the help of PSS, but even after 3 years I find it hard to explain just how trapped, frightened and suicidal I felt to people who have never experienced it. I do want to support other women but worry that I wouldn't be any good at it as I haven't "got over" my own experiences. I still get really anxious every time I even feel slightly sick. I'm not having any more children, but I do want to ensure that my daughters grow up in a world where HG is managed by competent, well-informed professionals with access to good research.
Anna, 13th July 2015

I got my book in the mail yesterday -- and I just donated a survival pack! Keep up the great work! Cin in Canada
Cin, 14th July 2015

Fund Hyperemesis Research

The Book

Hyperemesis Gravidarum - The Definitive Guide by Caitlin Dean

The Kids Book

Hoe to be an HG Hero by Caitlin Dean

About Me

I am mother of three beautiful children and wife to a fantastic and supportive husband. I am a nurse, a farmer and a trustee for Pregnancy Sickness Support. I love working hard and spending time with my kids.

About this blog

Information and support for pregnancy sickness and hyperemesis gravidarum. Views are my own and do not represent those of any other organisation. Information provided here should not be a substitute for medical advice. My aim is to raise awareness and encourage sufferers to know they are not alone.

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