Brushing my teeth still makes me retch... and other post HG phenomena
When the toothpaste foams just a little too much, or I swill my mouth and spit in the sink... sometimes it still makes me retch.
When I'm at someone's house and they make a cup of tea without mentioning it has earl grey in it... I'm trying not to retch.
When I clean the family loo and look down in the bowl... I have a sense of over familiarity, it induces nausea.
When I wake in the night to my children's needs... my stomach does a flip, a familiar sense to vomit urgently.
When my children or dog are sick... I can't help but retch and gag.
When my children throw up in a bowl... I have to hide it in a corner for my husband to dispose of after work.
When we drive down certain roads... it is landmarked for ever by the places I threw up.
When I look at my wrists... I still see the scars from the pointless acupressure bands I wore to prove to the world I was at least trying to "help myself".
When someone mentions ginger... I'm filled with rage and anger.
When someone asks about a cure or the cause for hyperemesis gravidarum... I'm filled with sadness that neither are yet known.
When I look at my children, sleeping in their beds and I stroke their soft faces and kiss their little cheeks... I know it is still worth it.
When I post my blogs and answer emails and calls from desperate women... I know I am helping others.
When I write articles and publish research... I know I am changing the world.
When I look at my life... I know I am changed... because of hyperemesis gravidarum... and that's okay.